First off, let me just say that my son is the light of my life.  Lately, he is the only one that can genuinely make me smile-I can’t tell if it on purpose or not-Jackson is funny that way. He is the reason why I am here. He saved my life.  If not for Jackson, I would be in a miserable marriage, not on the outs of a pretty happy relationship. But anyway.

He tells me I am her very best friend. Ever. He gave me a penny the other day that he kept in his pocket all day. He tells me he loves me too. I want the world for him. So I will give it. Mommy has been a little beside herself lately, but I will give  you my all. I love you Jackson.

Now, into the future. I can’t say that right now I see that it is so bright.  I am at a crossroads with my career-not sure what I want to do there. It feels like the end of the road for my relationship. Not much I can do there. So I guess I need to start with me.  Just me. So I need to take a few breaths. Remind myself of who I am, but remember that I don’t have to be passive. I will also remember that my feelings matter but to approach people with compassion and kindness, especially when it is hard to do so. Hopefully I will see the light at the end of the tunnel soon, cuz it feels like I am drowning right now.