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It’s been a while, I’ve been pretty busy-moving into a fabulous new place, dealing with my son’s slight confusion as to why his bed was no longer assembled..stuff like that.  I was gonna write a post about fake boobs, but decided not to.

But seriously folks, what do you want to be when you grow up? It took me turning 30 to realize that my life is not over yet and that I should live it-why waste time on things that don’t make you happy? Or do nothing for you? Or simply make you miserable? What? Just because you are no longer in your 20’s you have to only go a certain way? Hang with certain people?  Not that everyone feels that way, it is just that it was the direction I was headed..and I am so glad that I made a U turn.

I made changes to my miserable relationship, and decided on what I wanted to do to make me happy. I really want to go back to school and get a PhD-and teach..guess I gotta get on it, huh? I have been working toward it and I have always worked to be someone who is true to themselves and true to their words. So, since I have said outloud a million times that I want to get the PhD., I’m gonna work towards it.  I have also been thinking about music..I always wanted to be a jazz singer. We’ll see about that one. I want to be the best kind of Mommy I can be for my son..I want him to be the best man he can be-someone HE can be proud of. I want to teach him manners, respect, how to love and how to pray. He’s already smart so the school thing should come easy for him..its the things that are not in the books that I really want to provide for him and any future children I may have. 

Finally, when I gorw up, I want to be in one of those everlasting, sexy and fun relationships..be that couple when they are old and grey can look at one another and smile and laugh still-after all the years that pass by.  A sly look, a soft touch, a slight, loving glance. This is the life that I want to grow into and I think I am on my way…

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So..I am moving soon and I am nervous. Nervous about packing-how the hell am I going to find the time? Nervous about Jackson being ina new space. Oh my God, am I going to scar my child for life for bouncing him from home to home? I mean a year ago he was living in a huge house with both parents, to living in a nice home with his Aunt and Mommy to…well, let’s just say the living arrangement will be diferent this time.

But, I am also excited! This is yet another adventurous chapter in my life and I am accepting of the challenge.  It seems that just because you are nervous about something, it doesn’t mean that it will all turn out bad, it is just that you are aware and need to process through all that is happening to determine whether it is the right move.  Luckily, this is a dress rehearsal and the butterflies are moving from nervous fear to nervous excitement. We will see…until next time.

They say you can find happiness in the most unexpected places and ways-I think the same thing goes for unhappiness. The last year had been an interesting one for me- with a divorce, moving on, an unexpected meeting and unexpected happiness. I have found happiness in the simplest of things and have come to realize that is what it is all about, and this is why I decided to start a blog.

After lurking on several sites, laughing at witty musings of others, I thought”I’m witty, I have stuff to say, I like to write.” So here I am. I hope my rambling musings aren’t too much, but then, in a big way I don’t care. I am, after all that brazen hussy. I hope I can keep it up.